I went to study psychology and theology at university as an attempt to quiet the voices of insecurity and to find meaning and purpose in a world I perceived as dangerous and unfair. Part of my coping strategies was to blame and to come across I know it all in a subtle way. My first marriage at 21 was an ointment for inner wounds.
In my second year at university, one of the Psychology books “Man’s search for meaning” from Victor Frankl made a forever impression on my thinking. I realized that I could give meaning to n perceived meaningless world. After my BA degree in Psychology and Greek, I went ahead and did my theology degree. And again, a book changed the course of my life: Think and grow rich from Napoleon Hill. After that, life was never the same. I finished my theology degree and as part of theological training at that time, preached a few times and felt deep in my heart not believing what I am preaching. I closed the door on the Dutch Reformed Church, went to the army as a normal troop for my basic training and was later transferred to Military Intelligence where I did security clearances for the SANDF.
After the army, my career started in the insurance industry as an agent for African Eagles, joined Sanlam in 1983, moved up the corporate ladder with various roles in senior management. After 20 years of service, was retrenched, started a business development job at a small insurer and then moved to an IT company as business development executive, acting MD and retired as GM.
I grew up in a dis-functional apartheid society and home. Emotionally I felt rejected for a considerate time in my life. I developed pattern of behavior of building relationships and then destroys it, because going back to internal chaos was the inside familiar. I was a victim. I needed the trauma and disaster of a second failed marriage failure to spiral me in the right direction.